The subtle art - Summary - Review - Book explained
The subtle art of not giving a F*CK book Summary ✌
The subtle art of not giving a F*CK by Mark Manson, the book opens with the story of Charles Bukovsky, who is a famous author before that, he had a job at a post office, he is also an alcoholic, a womanizer and a gambler. One day an editor from a small publishing house saw his writing and gave him an offer he should stop give up on all his expenses and write a book or he can stay in the post office and go crazy. Of course, because he chose to starve and then published 60 books of his short stories and poetries normally when we hear such stories we think that how special Bukowski was fought for his dreams he pursued his passion and he became successful right wrong, his epitaph read do not try he became successful because of his simple ability to be completely and unflinchingly be honest with himself that made his books successful our culture today is obsessively focused on unrealistically positive expectations be happier be healthier be better be smarter be sexier whatnot but when you stop and think about it the conventional advice of all the positive and happy self-help stuff we hear all the time is fixating on what we lack it lasers in on what you perceive your personal shortcomings and failures you stand in front of the mirror and repeat affirmation saying that you're the most beautiful woman in the world only because you feel as if you're not already beautiful have you heard about the feedback loop imagine you get angry about something very silly and you have no idea why the fact that you get angry on silly things makes you even more angry then you realize being angry all the time makes you a shallow and a mean person you hate this hate it so much that you get angry on yourself now look at you you're angry at yourself getting angry about being angry that is the feedback loop of hell this is why not giving a is so key by not giving importance to feeling angry or bad you should secure the feedback loop ever notice that sometimes when you careless about something you get better at it some couple when they don't try hard to conceive a baby they do get conceived a baby not when they tried hard have you heard that that interesting phenomenon is called the backwards law mark Manson says everyone is going to die someday but everyone is going to die so we have a limited amount of importance to give very few in fact without conscious choice or thought about what you will give importance to your life is crude so the essential learning is how to focus and prioritize your thoughts effectively based on finely honed personal values so there is a subtle art of not giving importance to everything or everyone subtlety number one not giving importance does not mean being indifferent it means being comfortable with being different subtlety number two to not give importance to adversities you must first give importance about something more important than adversities subtlety number three whether you realize it or not you are always choosing what to give importance about will suffer pain for the simple reason that it is biologically useful and nature's preferred agent for inspiring change the person you marry is the person you fight with when you choose your struggle you choose your success there is no such thing as a personal the problem if you are undergoing some problem chances are that millions are undergoing through the same problem we must realize that we are one species and we are all the same the self-awareness onion self-awareness is like an onion the the first layer is the simple understanding of one's own emotions we all have emotional blind spot in the growing, upstage we have been taught that some emotions create to express we need to identify it and peel it the second layer is the ability to ask why we feel certain emotions they eliminate what we consider as success or failure the deeper layer of self-awareness is why do I consider this to be successful or a failure how am I choosing to measure myself with what standards I judge me and people around me this is the most important step because our values determine the nature of our problem values underlie everything we are and we do if our values are unhelpful what drives our success is poorly chosen then the thought emotion will be out of whack take a moment and think of something that's bugging you now ask yourself why does it bug you chances are the answers will involve a failure now take that failure and ask why it seems true to you what if that failure wasn't a failure what if your perspective was wrong what values drive your perspectives this is the nutshell of all self-improvement books believe me, prioritizing values choosing what to give importance and by choosing these two you choose your struggle and hence your happiness and a better life there are five counter-intuitive values that mark believes are most benefit all follow backward law that is first is a responsibility there is a code say which says with great power comes great responsibility there is a better version of this code with great responsibility comes great powera lot of people hesitate to take responsibility because they believe that to be responsible for a problem is to be able to be owned the fault for that problem but fault is past tense and responsibilities present tense there is a difference when you see this it's easy to adapt that value now people ask me, okay now I know this is the value that I need to follow how to change and mark says in his best urine impersonation do or do not do there is no, how you are already choosing every moment of your life every day change is as simple as choosing to give importance to something in value is uncertainty is the root of all progress as the old age goes the man who believes he who knows everything learns nothing before reflecting on our values and prioritization the first step is to become uncertain of our current values Buddhism argues that your idea of who you are is a mental construction when you let go of it you give yourself an opportunity to grow as a better person we are the architects of our own belief in an experiment, a psychologist put a bunch of people in a room with a bunch of buttons and they told if they do something something unidentified a light will flash that indicates that they have won a point and they have 30 minutes to figure out and earn at most points as they can people started smashing buttons randomly until the light glows logically they try repeating the sequence and see if the light close again but that doesn't work they think out of the box maybe it's not something to do with the button perhaps this is how I sit ding the light close okay these are the same way it may be we should touch the ceiling etc and people go crazy sorts of patterns they keep associating their actions with the light bulb and form a pattern any part is random that's how people believe in a bunch of value is a failure the willingness to discover your flaws and mistakes so they may be an improved failure is away forward and failure is a relative concept if mark values and metrics was to become an anarchy communist revolutionary than his complete failure to make money in the initial years of his career would have been a raving success like most people, if the metric was just to find a job to pay bills he would have been a dismal failure but he was from a wealthy family he alwayswanted to be an entrepreneur so he chose to do something principle that something can be the smallest viable action forward do something and the answer will follow the fourth principle is rejection the ability to both say and hear no thus clearly defining what you will and will not accept in life rejecting things make your life better the act of choosing a value for yourself requires rejecting alternative value if I choose to make my marriage the most important part of my life that means I also choose not to make a cocaine-fueled hooker or g is an an important part of my life to choose well you must know to reject the last and final value is the contemplation of one's mortality this one is crucial because paying vigilant attention to one's death helps us keep all our other values in proper perspective seek the truth for yourself and I shall meet you there that was the last thing josh ever said to mark George and Mark were 19 years old they were having a pool party at the condo on a hill below the pool was a cliff overlooking the lake josh and mark spoke for a long time about starting their own music band girls and all other cool stuff later that night mark went on to have some food josh didn't have the interest to eat so when mark asked when can where can I find you later he josh said seek the truth for yourself and I shall meet you there she fell off the cliff that night by mistake and he was dead this changed mark's life from a narcotic raged irresponsible kid to someone who completed college and became an entrepreneur looking back at that night when george's the body was fished out of the dark lake mark's ego slowly vanished and it helped him to cease the day take responsibility for the choices he made to pursue his dreams with less shame and inhibition and the more the primary lesson he learned was there is nothing to be afraid of ever you two are going to die and that's because you were fortunate enough to have lived there is nothing to be afraid of ever so that's the subtle art of not giving a by Mark Manson.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5m81Qsw0gLw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lz8sUiXAnbs
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